


The Heat Between Us

by promisingahurricane



Series: Of warm fingers and shivering hearts [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Bottom Stiles Stilinski, Come Eating, Come Marking, Hurt Stiles, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Oops, Peter Knows, Peter is a little creepy, Protective Jackson, Protective Pack, Puppy Isaac, Rough Derek, Sea Monsters, Sick Stiles Stilinski, Stiles has his bat, Stiles is Not a Virgin, Swearing, Worried Pack, and get's beaten up, the pack listens to Stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-12 07:59:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5658670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/promisingahurricane/pseuds/promisingahurricane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is alone and sick, but when the Pack calls for help, he follows of course, despite queasiness, a twisted ankle, a fever, a headache and most importantly his heartache.</p><p>_______</p><p>I guess this part can't really be read as stand alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You like it rough

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo... This part will have two chapters because I like to annoy people with weird cliffhangers ;) Tell me if I missed tags, and thank you for tagging along.  
> Come rant on steter, sterek and teen wolf in general
> 
>  
> 
> [here](http://promising-a-hurricane.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> .

I awoke to the ringing of my phone. Sometime after clinging to the toilet and throwing up all the things I didn’t eat, I had crawled back into bed, shivering until I had slipped into a restless sleep. By now I was burning up, feeling feverish as I peeked from underneath the covers at the angrily buzzing device.

While I was still pondering if it could be anything important enough to make moving to get it worth it, it stopped. Yay. Less decisions to be made. I sighed and curled back into the soothing dark under the blanket, which at least helped soothing my pounding headache. Nope, I wasn’t leaving my nest anytime soon.

Just as I settled enough once more to think of sleep, it rang _again_.

Oh for fucks sake. That couldn’t be good. It never was.

With worry slowly creeping into my dazed mind, I swatted blindly at the nightstand until my fingers found a familiar shape and I pulled the phone into the dimness of my small little blanket cave. I swiped to accept the call without checking the caller ID.

“Oh thank god!! You’re safe, right? Tell me you’re safe”, Scott screamed into my ear.

With a scrunched up face I held the phone as far from my ear as the blanket would allow and grumbled disgruntled. I rubbed a hand down my face before I put it back into speaking range.

“Stiles? Stiiiiiiles??”

Patience was a virtue Scott didn’t seem to possess at the moment. The puppy was still way too loud and the throbbing in my head came back with fervor. My brain told me to just end the call because I was so not in the mood to get up and fight whatever shit was going down right now that had Scott so worried and agitated.

But who’s a good friend? Yeah, this guy.

“Tone it down dude”, I whined.

Nope I absolutely wasn’t above whining right now. My throat felt too dry, causing my voice to sound scratchy and rough and my head was _killing_ me, not to mention the nausea that was lingering underneath it all.

“Whoa you sound bad. Are you alright? Where are you??”

“At home.”

For a second I worried that I had been supposed to be somewhere, but although my brain was not really working that well right now it insisted on ‘No’.

“What? You know there’s school today?”

I rolled my eyes.

“Yes Scotty boy. I know, but I’m sick. Slept mostly until now. How late is it anyway?”

“It’s – hey, stop that – “

I heard some slapping noises, a few growls and then a short argument. Patiently I waited as someone seemed to wrestle with Scott for his phone. Then, an annoyed but triumphant huff could be heard.

“Stilinski. Get your ass to the loft. NOW. You tools can flirt later.”

Aaaand the call was over. It’s always so lovely to talk with Jackson, 10/10 would phone again.

I groaned and buried my face in the mattress. I really hoped for them this was hella important. Otherwise I would rip someone’s head off and put it on a stick. Preferably Jackson’s. Although that would maybe result in Lydia taking revenge on me. Okay, so maybe no decapitating Jackson. But my Dad would be seriously pissed if he saw me running around town when he had excused me from school for the day. There would definitely be hell to pay and not from me.

It was really tempting to be a bad friend right now and stay home. But if I was honest with myself, I knew I couldn’t endure not knowing what was going on and if everybody was safe.

My mind flicked to Derek and how he had looked when he had stumbled into my room, but I quickly shoved the thought down. If he wanted to pretend nothing happened between us, I could play this part. Okay, it hurt, because I had the bad feeling I was not only sexually attracted to him, and something was always pulling me back to his side, but I wasn’t going to be the annoying teen who couldn’t control his crush and made everything difficult.

Accepting my fate, I slowly rolled over to the edge of the bed and just let myself drop out of it and onto the floor, effectively freeing myself _from_ the blanket without entangling myself _in_ it. I caught myself before hitting the ground too hard and got into a somewhat upright sitting position, waiting until the world stopped turning (more than it should) to put my feet underneath me and stand up.

I winced when I put my weight onto both feet. Yeah. Totally had forgotten about the pleasure of having a twisted ankle. Hurray.

Hobbling to the head of my bed I pulled out the bat from underneath one of my pillows and used it as a cane to get to my closet without falling over. I would need to take it with me today since running wasn’t really an option. Not that it did much except give me a false sense of security, but I take whatever I can get.

Balancing on one leg, I put on my black sweats and threw on a shirt and a hoodie, as usually more aiming for comfort than looks. When I had wiggled into my shoes I grabbed my keys and prepared for the probably not so enjoyable adventure of taking the stairs. With a deep breath I took as many at once as I could, effectively shortening the torture, but probably doubling the intensity.

When I reached my Jeep I already felt antsy and stressed out, the queasiness and headache stealing away what little energy I had restored through the sleep. My hands were suspiciously pale as I grabbed the wheel and when I glanced into the rearview, I couldn’t help grimacing at the sight. There were dark circles underneath my eyes, which themselves were slightly red and teary, no color in my cheeks, very few in my lips and my hair was in even more of a mess than it usually was. Lovely. I looked like a Zombie.

With an angry noise I pulled out of the driveway and floored the gas. I did my best to avoid all the spots where Dad usually sent his deputies for their rounds and was especially careful when I couldn’t drive around them. Getting stopped by an over eager police officer was not what I needed right now if I wanted to get back to my bed before Dad came home.

Faster than I thought (but slower than I wanted) I arrived at the loft. Jackson’s Porsche was there, meticulously clean as always, right next to the car Scott borrowed from his Mum. I turned around and parked so I could be the first to head out if we needed to.

As I approached the door (after more _fucking_ stairs – ouch!) it was pushed open and I could see the pack assembled inside around the big table near the window front, discussing loudly and with angry voices. I mumbled a thanks to Isaac who had opened the door and hobbled towards the group, ignoring Isaac’s inquisitive stare. Everyone was there except Derek. I glanced back at the curly head.

“Where’s our fearless leader?”

“Checking the woods for scents.”

I nodded absentmindedly. Why did he need to this alone? He was supposed to be the alpha, and alphas are where their pack is. Even if it was annoying the living hell out of you by throwing insults at each other like they were doing right now. I waited another moment, but when the pack continued to argue and didn’t acknowledge me, I cleared my throat loudly while tapping the bat against the table.

“So… what creature managed to step on your tails?”

Scott twisted around, his mouth open, ready to spit a ‘Shut up’ when he met my unimpressed stare. Werewolf senses my ass. None of them had heard me coming. Well. Except Isaac. I could only assume that he had stayed on the sidelines, unwilling to participate in this stupid quarrel, whatever it was about.

The hard lines in Scott’s face morphed into soft relief as he took two big steps towards me and pulled me into his arms. It was pretty nice, since he was oozing warmth into my aching muscles and the pressure of his hold was strangely calming. I patted his back and he squeezed harder, which stopped feeling good almost immediately.

“Ouch, ouch, _ouch_. Scott. Squishy human here. Bad puppy!!”, I wheezed.

He released me with an apologetic smile, which faded when he finally took in my appearance. I watched a frown form on his face, concern returning to his eyes, but before he could ask about it, Erica chimed in.

“What the fuck happened to you Batman?? You look like shit.”

She slowly stepped around the table to get a better look. I only rested the bat on my shoulder with a sigh and raised an eyebrow. I knew I was a little under the weather right now, but this was just impolite. Bad puppies. Where’s a newspaper to hit their noses when you need one?

“Thank you for the compliment Catwoman. I’m sick and supposed to lie in my cozy warm bed. So does anyone care to explain what’s up before my Dad comes to drag me back to said bed by my ear?”

Isaac snorted, stepping back carefully as a small silence spread for all but five seconds. The calm before the storm.

“It’s a Grindylow”, Boyd said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

Jackson groaned annoyed.

“NO. It’s a fucking Selkie!”, he spat.

“Hell no you thickheaded idiot. It’s an Afanc”, Lydia stated with a smile that was scary enough to shut Jackson up for the moment.

“Oh come on! It’s definitely an Each-Uisge”, Erica threw in.

I could see Jackson’s head turning red with rage and he opened his mouth, most definitely to spew something rather poisonous when I decided it was time to intervene before they started going for each other’s throats a bit less metaphorically.

“SHUT UP!”

The wolfs winced slightly and I myself immediately regretted shouting as my head pulsed painfully in reaction. At least it had worked. I sighed.

“Okay guys, let’s start over. What do we know?”

Jackson opened his mouth again, but I cut him off with my bat raised in his direction.

“No! No more guessing what the creature _is_ until you tell me what it _does_.”

He shut his mouth with a pout and leaned back against the windows. Expectantly I looked at Isaac, who was snickering and badly hiding it behind his hand. He straightened up immediately under my stare and stepped closer to the table.

“Well…two bodies were found near the lake in the preserve here”, he pointed at a blue smudge on the map, “and the small river here”, his finger landing somewhere on the wiggly line. I limped forward and took a closer look.

“That’s where the bridge is, right?”, I asked, squinting at the red marks and scribbly handwriting that marked the spots. He nodded.

“Yeah. Both had water in their lungs, but knew how to swim. A limb or two were missing, but no special mark otherwise.”

“Any sightings?”

“No. A man claimed to have seen a large snake but it turned out to be a tree trunk.”

I raised both eyebrows, Isaac shrugged.

“He was drunk as a skunk.”

“So I’m guessing it can either change into a human being or is damn good at being almost invisible. The places it grabbed his victims from are usually well-visited hiking trails. Someone should have seen something.”

Someone made an affirming noise.

Sighing I let my eyes wander over the map. Beacon Hills didn’t really have many more lakes or rivers to house a water creature, and it was pretty safe to assume it was something like that if it drowned its victims. But the river was long enough to create space for a lot more mischief until we found the thing. Only small passages were shallow, other’s deep enough to drown a grown man. It would be hard to catch.

“What about the victims? Anything special? Same job? Hobby? Relation?”

A heavy silence spread and I raised my gaze to find everyone avoiding looking me in the eyes. My mouth went dry and my heart beat faster. This was not good. Not good at all. I held onto the table as another wave of nausea hit me.

“WHAT?” I hissed. “What is it?”

Anger seeped through me as still no one looked at me. My own patience was rather thin right now.

“We got through this once, we can do it again. Someone will always be there with you. We’ll switch until we find that thing”, Scott said.

“I can watch him at school first, I almost have all classes with him anyway”, my favorite blonde wolf threw in.

“I can do the afternoons”, Boyd added.

“I’ll stay the nights”, Jackson volunteered. I wasn’t the only one who stared at him like he just declared his love for gay porn.

“At least he’s not talking when he’s sleeping, right?”

Scott snorted. “He _always_ talks.”

I raised my hands in an attempt to stop them from ranting on and planning out their Stiles-buddy system any further.

“Could someone _please_ tell me why I need to have a baby-sitter?”, I tried in a calm tone.

Silence spread again.

“Virgins”, a calm voice lastly revealed, amusement clear and unhidden in its tone.

My head shot around and sure enough, there was Peter, lounging on the narrow staircase with an entertained look on his face and a sneer gracing his lips. Lurking as always.

“What?”

Virgins again. Why was the pack acting up because virgins were being taken again? I mean, aside from the obvious, because getting killed in itself is sucky enough, and being killed before you have the chance to do the do is really cruel, how does that justify keeping me under surveillance at all times?

Peter rolled his eyes and elegantly rose to take the last few steps down to the floor.

“Virgins, Stiles. Untouched”, he took a step towards me, predatory eyes lingering on my neck more than I was comfortable with, “pure”, another step, “untainted”, one more.

I felt the need to growl when he stopped a tad too close, clearly in my personal space, but I wasn’t ready to make a fool out of myself yet, so instead I jutted my chin out and grabbed the bat a little tighter.

“I know what a virgin is, _Peter_. But why the fuck is everyone so worried because of that?”

Jackson huffed out a breath.

“Because you are one, you dumbass”, he spat.

Oh. _Oh_. Of course they didn’t know. Now this would be a fun conversation.

I opened my mouth, but hesitated once more. I couldn’t really tell the Derek part, but if I told them that I wasn’t a virgin anymore, they’d probably want to know who and I couldn’t answer that. Well, _technically_ I could, but _practically_ it would be a stupid idea if I wanted to live long enough to have sex more than twice, since Derek obviously wanted to keep our thing a secret.

Scott whined behind me and I shot him a quick glance before focusing back on Peter - Peter, whose nostrils were flared, eyes flashing his supernatural blue as he leaned forward. With a swift move I raised the bat and snarled.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

That’s when I felt what the magic of gravity had achieved while I had been occupied: achingly slow, the remains of the cum Derek had buried inside of me dropped into my underwear, pooling there stickily.

I clenched my eyes shut and felt my face scrunch up. Fuck.

My mind shot back to the previous night. One would think that fucking in a shower would include getting clean again, but somehow I had just forgotten it in my tiredness and since I had been only on all fours or lying down all morning, it was not that surprising that it only found its way out of me now.

“Now that’s interesting”, Creeperwolf purred.

“Shut up”, I whispered heatedly.

Could he know that it was Derek’s? Since he came back from the dead, his senses weren’t quite the same as before, but he had more practice than the pack and was at least three times as observant.

“And here I was wondering where he was recovering so quickly”, he chuckled. "Sparks and their magic...such a wonderful thing. I didn't think he had it in him to go to you."

My eyes shot open. Steel blue one’s stared back at me. I frowned. What was he talking about?

“What is going on?”, Scott interrupted.

“Take a deep breath and you will know”, Peter grinned, eyes never leaving mine.

I whirled around as I raised the bat once more in threat.

“Don’t you dare!”

“But-“

“NO!”

“Then just tell us”, Lydia said, calmly inspecting her perfectly manicured fingernails.

When I remained silent, she stopped her inspection and made a prompting impatient gesture in my direction. I really, really didn’t want to tell them, but I knew that I had to at one point or another. I just hoped that the wolves wouldn’t follow Peter’s advice. By now he was back on the staircase, grinning like the cat who got the cream.

“Stiles”, Lydia warned.

“Okay okay”, I flailed my arms in the air. “I’m just no longer a virgin, alright?”

I saw Jackson’s mouth fall open (HA), Boyd nodding like he had expected it (uhm, okay) and Scott looking a little betrayed (ouch).

“What?? When did that happen? Why didn’t you tell me? Who was it?”

With a groan I made another unnecessary gesture.

“A couple weeks ago. It was a bit of a surprise since he’s not really into me. Well, romantically. I was still trying to figure out if this was a one-time thing or not.”

“But with who??”

“Doesn’t matter”, I bit out, hoping he would get the message and not ask further.

“Why?”

I threw my hands in the air in defeat.

“IT DOESN’T MATTER SCOTT”, I yelled. “All that does is that I’m not a _fucking_ virgin anymore, alright?!”

“What the hell is going on?”

With a distressed noise I let my head fall back, eyes closed again. Of course. Of fucking course Derek had to come back right then and there to my declaration. Bye-bye throat. It was nice to have you.

“Our little Spark here had some fun last night but wouldn’t tell which Gentleman had the pleasure”, Peter informed his nephew smirking mischieviously.

Huh. Maybe that would save my throat. I hadn’t told them it was him, so I was safe, right? Carefully I turned around and faced the trademark frown of the Sourwolf.

“Not a virgin. Tadaaa?” I offered while wiggling my fingers of the free hand.

He rolled his eyes, then made his way over, suddenly stopping dead in his tracks as I shifted a little and felt another drop flow out of me. With morbid fascination I watched his eyes widen before they turned Alpha red. Oh my. He probably thought I was a freak for not cleaning myself after our fun shower session, especially since the others could potentially smell it was his come, but _he_ was still the one who came mostly feral and didn’t speak. Anger slowly creeped into my veins like biting fire, burning down the hesitation. He was the one who always left me alone, who didn't explain. He was the reason I was hot and cold, had a headache and felt nauseous. I had the right to be angry after him running away again, right?

“What?”, I hissed, returning his stare provocatively.

He growled loudly and suddenly I was dragged away, the bat falling to the floor with a loud clank as a strong hand digged into my nape, forcing me to follow. When I was shoved into the bathroom, finally free from the threatening claws I whirled around to Derek.

“WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM HALE? I didn’t say a thing! But I guess you always enjoyed being rough on me.”

The door snapped shut, and the lock clicked. In an instant I was pressed up against a wall, my face full with an angry werewolf.

“What _my_ problem is? What is _your_ game Stilinski?! You smell like you rolled in my bed _for weeks_!”

I laughed humorously.

“Oh I am certain I was never near your bed. I just didn’t have the time to shower before rushing over here.”

“What?? But why do you smell like I fucked you?”

_What._

I stared at him in disbelief. He didn’t even twitch in the slightest.

“Are you kidding me?”

My blood was boiling with anger. It was a douchebag move to never talk about us having sex, but pretending it never happened was a whole new level of assholery.

Derek only bared his teeth while I stared into his unwavering eyes. My heart sank. No. This just couldn't be...

“You really don’t know, do you?”, I whispered.

The wolf made a strange noise in his throat.

"Do you know where you were last night? Or the night you told me to stay home and I actually listened?"

Derek hesitated and seemed to ponder.

"In the preserve, checking the river. Chasing a wendigo."

He didn’t know. He didn’t know. He didn’t know. I had slept with him and he didn’t even remember. I felt sick again. With a whine I started wiggling in his hold, which was a bad idea, as it released another gush of spunk into my soiled pants. GOD. How much had he come inside me?? This was getting ridiculous.

I desperately hoped his senses hadn’t picked up what was happening, but I was all out of luck today.

His eyes shot up, growling he pinned me with one arm while his other hand unceremoniously pushed into my sweats, then into my briefs, his fingers diving roughly right into my crack and pressing up against my twitching hole, scraping at the escaping fluid. Ashamed I turned my head away from him and fixed my gaze on the sink, taking in the small cracks spreading through its bottom, gazing at the small specks where the color was a little darker and thought of my bed and the safe dark under its covers.

Derek retrieved his hand and I whimpered as I saw the white milky substance on his fingers. He sniffed at it.

“That’s…”, he trailed off, then, after a bit of hesitation, licked it before sucking all of it into his mouth.

My heart skipped a beat and I couldn’t believe my stupid dick as it twitched in interest. How could it still get turned on in this damn situation?

“What. The. HELL. That’s _mine_.”

Derek looked back up at me and gripped my chin tightly to force me to turn my head in his direction. His face was no longer filled with confusion but fury, bright red fury that was shining in his eyes and fangs.

“What did you do to me you sick fuck?!”

I stared at him for a moment, blinking slowly, then laughter started bubbling from my lips uncontrollably and slowly grew into a manic laugh. What I did to him. This was hilarious. _Sparks and their magic_. Peter. Peter knew something. Derek may not, but his uncle. I snorted and obviously it was the wrong thing to do: The wolf roared and threw a punch at me, propelling me to the side and into the sink that cracked underneath my weight.

As I touched my now split lip I whimpered pitifully at the ache that the moving caused to my ribs. Derek was hovering over me, all wolfed out and how, just how could he still be so beautiful? But deadly things had always a weird beauty to them.

Tiredness bloomed rapidly in my mind and as I licked the blood from my lips it felt like everything had gone into slow motion. With fascination I observed small specks of dust twirling in the air and I smiled although it _hurt_. Wolves sure throw a mean punch. A cramp in my stomach made me curl over the shattered remains of the sink in pain, inflicting more cuts that meant nothing compared to the aching feeling in my abdomen. I whimpered.

“Listen to me Derek. Listen to my heartbeat.”

I paused, tongue already heavy and feeling wrong in my mouth. My vision started getting blurry and I couldn’t see if Derek did anything to affirm he heard me.

“I didn’t do _shit_. This, was all you. You fucked me. Twice”, I mumbled, slightly slurring the words.

I gulped against the lump in my throat and forced the darkness back for a moment longer.

“ _You_ took my virginity.”

Conveniently my head lolled to the side, just as the door flew open and blurry people-shaped shadows barged into the tiny bath.

“STILES!!”

Perfect. More loud noises.

“Bring..me..home…home….”

I sank into black.


	2. Good to be bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I say two? I meant four. Definitely four. So hurray folks. The story is written, I'll just work on some small things but it is complete and I hope you're not too mad it has taken a while ;) Have fun!

When I woke up, I felt cold and just wanted to drift back off. I couldn’t remember when I fell asleep, but I was still tired and freezing. And sick. Definitely sick, which felt decidedly not good. Goosebumps covered my arms until I started shivering violently.

A choked noise reached my ears, and in the next second something heavy settled on my body, causing the shaking to lessen.

“Please please tell us something good”, a voice pleaded. “This is _not_ normal!!”

When is anything in this town ever normal?

My brain was somehow not quite inclined to catch up on where I was and why. The darkness all around me didn’t help. I tried moving and immediately regretted it. Ouch. Ouch. OUCH. Whatever I was lying on was too hard to be lying on. So, no bed? Hopefully it was not the kitchen table again. Dad was always angry when he found me there passed out on some of his files.

“He’ll most probably survive.”

Oh. That was Deaton and hence it was safe to assume I was in the vet’s office on an examination table and – wait. _Most probably_?!

Nope. No. Hell no. Not dying here. I was maybe not feeling too well, but dying seemed a little over exaggerated. I tried voicing my complaints, but unfortunately I remained as an immobile, mostly silent vegetable. Great.

“What do you mean most probably?!”

Ahh. Scott. Thank you. I knew I could count on you.

“There’s a large amount of poison in his system. He shouldn’t have been able to walk around, or move at all. But since he survived until now, it’s probable he won’t die.”

How calming. At least it explains partly why I felt so shitty?

“Poison??”

“Poison.”

Oh thank you for the information Deaton. I could hear a frustrated growl. Isaac? Yeah, probably Isaac. I feel you my friend.

“He wasn’t bitten, he wasn’t cut, his stomach is empty.”

Well, duh. That’s what puking does to you. But I guess he wouldn’t know about that part.

“So what you’re trying to say is that you have no knowledge about how this poison got into his system?” Lydia asked with a deceivingly calm voice.

Silence spread for a couple moments and I could feel just how much it irritated Deaton to admit that he was fucking clueless for once and not just cryptic. Which would be admittedly a lot greater if I wasn’t somehow suffering of a _poisoning_.

“….Yes.”

“Great”, she snapped. “What about Derek?”

Derek. Why wasn’t Derek here, snarling at Deaton?

I felt hurt for a moment, angry that he wasn’t worrying and I knew it was stupid and childish – and suddenly the palpable physical pain in my face and ribs reminded me of the disaster I called my life.

Fuck.

“The restraints are holding and he stopped struggling a while ago. I suppose, he has retreated into his mind and for him that is seldom advisable. I assume you are still unwilling to share why he attacked young Stilinski?”

Guilt washed over me and breathing was harder than before. I was an idiot. It had been crystal clear that it wasn’t a good idea to give in to my feelings. It _never_ was. But I had done so nonetheless and all while he couldn’t give explicit consent. Well, he had given _some_ kind of consent, since he was the one who initiated all of the touching, but he hadn’t been really mentally present. Not safe, not sane. A wounded animal. Feral.

“No.”

He was right. I was a sick fuck. I was just as bad as Kate. I had used him because of my stupid dumb one-sided feelings. I deserved a lot more than one punch. At least I hadn’t tried to set his home on fire…

I was screaming loudly in my mind, and although it couldn’t be heard, I felt breathless pretty soon. My chest clenched and ached. We needed to figure this out. _I_ needed to figure this out. And apologize. Crawl at his feet and hope for forgiveness.

“Well if that isn’t a fun conversation”, Erica mumbled. “We should call Melissa and see if there’s something new on the victims.”

“I’ll talk to Derek. Or…try” Scott started in an angry tone, earning himself a pregnant silence. “Isaac, bring him home, then call my Mom. See what you can find out and get back to me. Call if he gets worse or wakes up. Lydia, get a sample of the poison and analyze it. Maybe we can figure something out from there.”

“We’ll go to Peter. I don’t like how amused he looked”, Boyd added curtly.

Fair enough. Even if he always seemed to bloom in chaos and destruction, he had become closer to the pack again. Usually he now even refrained from being too creepy while the pack was around. Yet, he apparently had decided to not come along, which was weird considering his decidedly curious nature. Zombiewolf must already know what was going on. Or enough of it to stay away.

“Good thinking. Drag him to my place if necessary”, Scott answered wearily. “Thank you Deaton.”

I felt like snorting. How polite. It didn’t quite sound like Deaton had been _that_ helpful, not that he ever was, but if the end of this conversation meant I was finally brought home, I’d take it.

Hands suddenly snaked around my shoulders and under my knees. Then, I was hauled up against a firm warm chest. I sighed when the shivers eased out into a barely-there tremble as the werewolf heat seeped into me. This was _a lot_ nicer than the cold metal examination table, even if I still hurt all over, especially now that I was moved around. My lids finally fluttered open and I blinked a couple of times against the blinding brightness. I groaned until my eyes focused on the worried faces hovering over me. My heartbeat quickened.

“Derek”, I muttered with a heavy tongue and it absolutely wasn't weird that that was the first thing that passed my lips.

“Hey, hey. You’re good. You will be fine, Stiles. I’m taking you home. Sleep. You need to rest.”

Sleeping was wrong. I needed to figure out what the hell had poisoned me. Or who. I had been good, hadn’t I? Well, aside from apparently being a second Kate Argent and _she_ definitely deserved to get poisoned. Okay. Maybe I hadn’t been so good. But no one knew of the whole thing and if there was nothing in my food, just how did it get inside of me?? This was important. It needed solving and I was good at that. At least when I wasn’t bruised all over. Ouch.

As the trembling lastly stopped and I was warm again, I couldn’t quite argue anymore with my body so heavy that it felt foreign and wrong, so I nodded and let my lids fall shut again. Immediately after, my mind shut off.

~ . ~

 

When I awoke again, I was surrounded by warmth. Too much warmth.

“Der?”, I mumbled sleepily, patting the bed behind me for the werewolf heater, frowning when I only felt cold sheets.

“Uhm, no. Sorry buddy.”

My eyes shot open and I tried to sit up, but a strong hand kept me down. I made a frustrated noise and followed the arm attached to the stupid hand. Isaac. Right. I stopped straining against the hold and huffed out a breath.

“Hey there. How are you?” He smiled tentatively while carefully placing a hand against my forehead.

“Hot. Thirsty. Bruised”, I grimaced, now fully aware again of my aching face.

I swatted his hand away weakly and regretted that movement, too. Instead of a comment on my wince, Isaac just handed me a water bottle and helped me sit up far enough to take a few sips from it, then placed it back on my nightstand.

“Do you want me to …?”, he asked, making a weird gesture with his hands towards my bare arm.

I frowned for a second before I understood. Pain drain. Werewolf mojo. Hurriedly I pulled my arm away from him and damn, did I mention that moving hurt?

“No”, I vehemently shook my head, swallowing down the whimper that tried to escape my lips.

Sure, I would absolutely enjoy feeling less beat-up (and hello that pain-sucking-thing was better than pain meds), but it wasn’t bad enough to justify making Isaac, the abused boy who had already endured enough pain for a lifetime before his sixteenth birthday, suffer too. I liked to think I was not completely horrible.

He just shrugged his shoulders and settled his hands back in his lap in defeat.

“The offer stands”, he muttered, looking down dejected.

I whined. Apparently my talent for doing stupid things was still as present as ever. Making him think I was afraid of him or his touch hadn’t been my plan. He was always so afraid of being alone, being hurt and left behind and I understood that sentiment perfectly. We were broken people, but together we were family, taking care and healing each other. And I, like the massive douche I am, just rejected his help.

Cautiously I put a hand over his and waited until he looked up at me. His sad puppy eyes made my heart clench.

“Thank you, I appreciate it, but I’m fine. Really”, I smiled softly.

When the corners of his lips twitched up in response, relief washed over me and soothed my worries a little. It was enough to upset one pack member until he punched me. I was not keen on emotionally draining another. I let my head fall back into the pillow with a comforted sigh and closed my eyes.

“I need to talk to Derek.”

His hands clenched underneath mine. So much for the good mood. Yay.

“Not right now.” The anger in his voice was barely hidden.

“The sooner the better.”

He remained silent and I cautiously cracked one eye open to look at him. His mouth was a tight line, worry written all over his face. I closed it again. Looking at him when I asked my next question was not something I was in the mood for.

“So…”, I started slowly, drawling. “You heard all of it?”

“No. We didn’t listen until he started screaming.”

I pulled my hand away, he didn’t stop me. Of course they had. Derek was usually always silent in his anger, all burning gazes and damning eyebrows combined with the occasional growl or roar. And yet I had managed to goat him out of his silence into raging fury.

_What did you do to me you sick fuck?!_

I flinched at the memory. Now _that_ had probably been pleasant to hear with werewolf ears. My heart clenched weirdly as I realized most of my confession came afterwards. Just not the part where we had established that Derek didn’t remember any of it. Shit. The pack apparently thought Derek was the asshole in this situation. Hell, they had _restrained_ him.

“Stiles, you’re drowning me with your anxiety here.”

Oh. Chemo Signals. Right.

I clenched my hands into the sheets until it hurt, opened my eyes and stared into Isaac’s, who watched me with a cautious gaze. I barely restrained myself from writhing around.

“He was right. I’m _not_ the victim. I’m a sick fuck”, I whispered.

My heart stayed steady. It was no lie. Because I wanted him so badly, I had allowed him to touch me against my better judgement. Even if I had only done it once, it would have been wrong enough in itself. But no, I had to go and do it again, too.

The young wolf in front of me puffed angrily, eyes sparkling and clenching his jaw until a muscle twitched in irritation, seemingly trying hard to control the shift.

“He hit you”, he gritted out between gritted teeth.

“I deserved it.”

“You’re human. He’s a werewolf. Whatever the problem is, he had _no right_ to hit you. That’s absurd.”

“I think he did. I’ll admit that it’s unfortunate that I fucked up when a werewolf is involved, but that doesn’t make his actions unjustifiable. I do that all the time and actually, I would have hit myself if I were him and not me.”

Isaac growled while baring his sharp fangs to my inefficient deflection. Luckily, I had stopped being afraid of that a while ago and just bared my blunt human teeth in response. He wouldn’t get me to be silent with such a cheap trick. He should know better by now.

“Do you realize how much this sounds like an abusive relationship Stiles?? And _I_ would know.”

He was bristling in anger, and I saw myself how much it must look like that. Wincing slightly, I started shaking my head vehemently. This was wrong, entirely wrong. I needed to explain _somehow_.

“Fuck… this isn’t even a relationship… I just... we…”

For once I was at loss for words and groaned in frustration.

“Fucked?” Isaac suggested with a flat tone after observing my struggle for a couple moments.

“Well, yes…?”

I shrugged. Actually, I guess it was more something along the lines of ‘fucked up’, but since both happened, I could accept it.

He sighed. “Tell me what happened.”

I didn’t want to. I really didn’t. Scott wouldn’t look at me the same way anymore. Essentially, no one would and rightfully so. But I couldn’t put the blame on Derek. He had suffered enough. Just thinking what Kate had done sent me into a fit of rage and the similarities in the situations made me feel absolutely disgusted of myself.

God, this sucked.

“I’ll tell it once. To everyone”, I whispered, then frowned, locking eyes with Isaac once more. “Where is everyone by the way? How long was I out?”

True, I had heard Scott’s original plan on what to do – and I should congratulate him for being such an effective second once I saw him – but I had no idea whatsoever how that worked out. Because nothing ever worked out in the way it should in this damn town.

“You were out for half an hour when we realized you started smelling…wrong. Or even more so then before. Somehow you were burning up first, then started shivering endlessly. We thought it would be best to bring you to Deaton. And now you slept for around four hours”, he glanced at the clock and nodded in affirmation.

Phew. Not as long as I thought. I wasn’t feeling tired anymore, actually rather restless for obvious reasons like figuring out why the fuck I had almost died when I had just felt like I caught a particularly bad cold.

“And?” I urged. The curly haired wolf grabbed his phone and frowned down at it.

“Boyd and Erica are still trying to get a hold of the ever elusive Peter, Scott hasn’t called back and Lydia has chemically analyzed whatever you have inside you and is now looking for which supernatural thing put it there.”

“What about the victims?”

The wolf shook his head. “No poison.”

Damn. That weren’t exactly the news I had hoped for. We had some kind of water beast ripping people apart and something poisoning me, which just had to be supernatural as well, if Deaton had no idea what the hell it was. So basically we knew nothing. As always.

“Sounds like two monsters that are out to kill us. Great.”

I threw my hands in the air in exasperation, then pondered for a moment and an idea struck me.

“Did you go near the lake or river in the preserve after the incidents?”

“Yeah, sure. Tried to catch a smell. Why?” He cocked his head in question.

“Was it raining? Did you have any blackouts? Muddy feet after you woke up? Shoes standing where they shouldn’t? Anything?”

By now I was sitting up and motioning for Isaac to hand me my laptop. Reluctantly he passed it to me and I started it up, staring at him until he got back to talking again.

“Yes, not that I know of, no, no, I don’t think so?”

I nodded while I typed in my password. It was just reasonable to assume that the pack as whole was attacked, but if nothing happened to Isaac, why did Derek have those blackouts? Maybe we were just random victims?

“You have a lead, don’t you?”, he said squinting at me.

A short glance was all I spared him before trying to refocus on the tiny red string that was connecting the hints in my head.

“I’m not sure… can you tell me what’s in the poison?”

The young werewolf flicked through his phone again until his face lightened up.

“Lydia says it’s some kind of water-plant, Cicuta? And it’s mixed with something like bacteria infected saliva and -”

Immediately my fingers flew over the keyboard, typing the words into the search engine. I roamed through the various pages on the different components, while Curly wolf continued to read the list of substances. I squinted at the chemical formula of the poison in the plant. It looked weirdly familiar. And suddenly I knew why.

My eyes widened as I twisted towards Isaac who stopped his rambling immediately.

“Call Deaton. Or Scott. Wherever Derek is. They need to check his blood. Like, now.”

He frowned at me and hesitated.

“Come on Isaac. I’m not calling myself although I could. I’m asking you. So just do it, will you??”

We stared each other down for another minute, then he caved and I did my best to hide a smug smile. He glares at me nonetheless. With a sigh he dialed and I refocused on the screen of my laptop, trying to get as much information into my brain as possible.

“Deaton? Yeah, hey. Derek still there? Great. Check his blood. I don’t know. No. Stiles. Yes. No. Uh-huh. Sure. Call me back. Yeah, bye.”

He ended the call and stayed silent. I stopped my frantic typing once more to raise an eyebrow at him, because I unfortunately didn’t have the advantage of werewolf hearing and everyone just seemed to always forget that little fact. That’s why it was easier when I called and the wolf, which was unavoidably around, could listen in.

“He’ll check it. He wanted to know why but I assumed you’re not sure yourself.”

Rolling my eyes (because of course I had an idea, otherwise I wouldn’t have told them to check it) I pointed at the screen instead of answering.

“Does that look familiar?”

“No?”, Isaac answered with confusion evident.

I was tempted to let him guess a little since he is the furry one here and should know, especially because it could affect him quite a lot more than me. But I’m impatient on my best days, and frankly, this one wasn’t even close to good.

“It has a whole lot of similarities with wolfsbane. I don’t know how I got it, but it made me sick.”

Curlywolf made a face as if silently saying ‘no shit Sherlock’, but opted for not saying out loud.

“Now, Derek… maybe he encountered the thing and the poison works differently on wolves. He would have healed up if it was injected somehow. Maybe we should call up Chris. If anyone knows how to poison wolves, it’s the hunters.”

My companion sighed heavily and unlocked his phone once more. I would just take that as confirmation that my theory was not the dumbest one. Yay, success. Hopefully this would help in figuring out why the fuck Derek couldn’t remember a damn thing. If there was a beast running around that could make you lose memories, it seriously needed to go as fast as possible.

While Isaac started speaking into the phone in rushed French, my own phone ringed. Considerate as he is, the wolf had plugged it in to keep it from dying. Hurriedly I grabbed it and accepted the call. The puppy stared at me, not pausing in his ramble. I mouthed ‘Deaton’ and he nodded.

_“Stiles?”_

“Yeah. So, poison?”

_“Yes. The traces were minimal, but there nonetheless.”_

I sighed heavily, not quite sure if I should feel relief or terror at the information. I had no idea if the dosage made any difference, but since I had a shit ton of the stuff inside of me and didn’t suffer from anything aside from burning up and freezing to death, all combined with a wonderful sickness and general achiness, it must have a different effect on werewolves. It just had to.

“How is he? Can I talk to him?”

Isaac stopped dead in his tracks and stared me down with glowing eyes. I shrugged, not in the least sorry for asking.

_“He hasn’t talked for a while. He is helping Scott go through my books and I’m calling in a few favors.”_

“Scott’s?”

_“Yes.”_

“Alright. We’ll be there in a bit.”

Before he could answer, I hung up and turned to stare at Isaac, raising my eyebrows in challenge. It was absolutely clear he was going to fight me on this, but oh I was prepared.

Angrily he stood up, phone in his hand long forgotten. Show me what you've got.

“We’re not going”, he said surprisingly calm, but with his muscles tensed.

“Oh yes we are.”

I pushed the covers away from me and swung my legs out of the bed, shivering slightly at the cold air on my heated skin. Gently I pushed him aside as I wobbled to my closet. When my legs almost gave out, he grabbed me and held me up. Shit. Not really the most convincing I could have been. I made an effort to stand up straight as I took the last steps.

“No. Scott will shoot me.”

I rolled my eyes. He should seriously be more afraid of Lydia. I mean, come on. Puppy eyed Scott who adores him or fiery red-headed queen who will scream his head off? And I was pretty sure he had never shot a weapon. Since he turned all grr once a month it had never really crossed his mind to use one.

“No he won’t. He would manage to shoot himself in the foot first. Enough time for you to escape.”

Isaac raised his hands in frustration.

“You know I could just keep you here? Maybe call your Dad?”, he answered, wiggling his phone around as visible reminder.

“You know I would manage to get out nonetheless?”

Being a little shit was what I was best at, and I’ve been the son of the Sheriff long enough to learn how to escape if I needed to. The good son, remember? But if I knew my wolves as well as I claimed, Isaac would give in sooner or later.

Our staring match continued for what felt like an eternity, then his shoulders finally sacked and a victorious smirk formed on my lips.

“Fine.”

I pumped my fist in triumph.

“But you’re not driving”, the wolf warned with a finger pointed angrily at me.

Grimacing slightly, I opened the closet. Sure I would have preferred to drive my beloved baby myself, but hey, at least we were leaving. While I grabbed a non-bloody shirt, he kept muttering about the one hundred ways Scott would kill him when we arrived with the occasional glare in my direction. I just grinned wickedly as I made my way to the shower.

It’s so good to be bad.


	3. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaay, fast update. The last chapter is pretty different in pace and I'm not sure if I still like it that way. So, enjoy this for now ;)

“What the fuck Isaac?!”

Curlywolf was standing there looking like a kicked puppy, glancing at me from time to time with a clear ‘told-you-so’- look, while Scott was screaming at him and walking up and down, only pausing to stare at the beta in exasperation. I seriously had thought he would be more occupied with scolding me, since, hello, I am the one who almost died, because I did stupid shit. I let him huff out his frustration for a moment more, because honestly, I was still upset myself and an upset werewolf and an upset human don’t make the best combo.

“Sorry?” Isaac tried, head ducked between his shoulders.

Scott growled at him and he flinched. Aaaaand that was enough. Immediately I stepped in front of him and patted (read: hit) Scott’s chest a couple of times until he looked at me in irritation instead of staring poor Isaac down, who was still whining slightly.

“What?!”

In played affront I pushed my bottom lip out in a pout and put a hand over my heart.

“No hug? No ‘I’m glad you’re not dead’? I’m _scandalized_. I seriously need to reconsider why you’re my best friend.”

Silence spread for all but two seconds before he sighed, closed his eyes and enveloped me in a bear hug. Wolf hug? Do wolves hug? Anyway I hummed in satisfaction, wrapping my arms around him. I enjoyed the closeness when the distinct click of heels came down the hall. Oh oh. I buried my head in Scott’s shoulder and he chuckled. Bastard.

“Stiles Stilinski!!”

Here she comes.

Scott, the traitor, quickly removed his arms and pushed me in the direction from where the thundering voice had originated. I told you it was more intelligent to fear hear, it's only rational. I raised my hand in a half assed wave, still not meeting her eyes.

“Hi Lyds?”

She punched my arm. HARD. Well, at least a lot harder than you would expect from someone who has perfectly manicured nails. I rubbed the spot which would surely sport another bruise by tomorrow and grimaced.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch…”

The marvelous redhead only huffed in satisfaction.

“I’d hit you again, but someone else already took care of that, so I’ll leave it. But don’t you dare do this to us again!”

“I’ll try? I don’t even know what the fuck did this. I’m just guessing here, so no more punching the invalid, alright?”

She pushed her chin out and smirked. “I’ll try. And you,” she whirled around to face Isaac. “We will have a nice talk about this.”

Yikes. The way she said _nice_ made me shiver and fear for my dear puppy. Isaac was visibly uncomfortable and even stepped closer to Scott for protection. I smiled at how Scott's eyes softened at the gesture and his rage finally subsided as he put a hand on Curlywolf's shoulder.

“Oh come on Lydia. I would have annoyed all of you to drive me here”, I sighed.

“He drove?” The fiery redhead crossed her arms in front of her chest, glancing between us with suspicion.

“Yes?”

“Your jeep?”

I nodded, still confused where this was going.

“Alright then. He has suffered enough”, she decided, flicking her curls over her shoulder.

“Hey!!” I complained. You don’t suffer from driving Roscoe. You receive the opportunity for a _voyage extraordinaire_.

The banshee made a sharp gesture in my direction, while pinning me down with her gaze.

“You yelled at him all the way about how to drive your ‘Baby’, didn’t you?”

I saw Isaac nodding frantically and shot him a punishing look. He only grinned in response and now I caved.

“I might have”, I offered with a pout.

She looked at Isaac, who instantly stopped grinning like an idiot. “We’re good puppy.”

He sighed and smiled shyly, before looking in Scott’s direction, who had watched the exchange with a smile on his lips. He nodded at Isaac, who looked overjoyed at being redeemed, and we all smiled at each other. After a few peaceful moments, I turned a little, trying to get a glimpse of the living room, only to find it empty when I succeeded.

“Where is he?”

Scott straightened up and avoided my gaze, his smile faltering. My muscles tensed as my brain raced through all the possibilities it could think up. And frankly, there were a lot. He could have run, turned sick, forgotten more, hurt himself, prepared to kill me, was put back in restraints, locked up, hunting the creature by himself, fleeing the country…

I had mostly avoided thinking about not having the possibility to talk to him since I woke up, but now it scared me to death. This was not how I wanted this to end, I wouldn’t let it happen even if I had to hunt him down personally and – wow. That didn’t sound scarily obsessive at all.

My lungs started aching, the small amount of air in me making me feel lightheaded.

“In the shower. He’s in the shower”, Scott finally answered and the tightness in my shoulders lessened marginally, opposed to his. It seems they didn’t have the best talk.

Shower. Well. That was…good? He didn’t run, he’s not trying to kill me. Yet. It’s something, I guess. But showering? Now?

Another grimace formed on my face and I could feel my heartbeat run away in my chest, again leaving my breathing far behind as it quickened and failed to bring air to my lungs.

Fuck. He probably felt _disgusted_. Of course. I mean, we kinda got along when we had to, and although _I_ might like him a little more, _he_ is not too fond of me. He must feel pretty sickened now, knowing that he swapped bodily fluids with me, more than once.

I shivered and tried to get my thoughts on other problems.

"So... no longer tied up?", I asked, tilting my head.

"No", Lydia responded while she was watching me thoughtfully for whatever reaction she was expecting me to show. Unfortunately I didn't quite know how to react at all, so I kept asking.

"Why was he in the first place?"

It unsettled me majorly that they had somehow felt the need to chain him up somewhere. Their Alpha. _Derek._

"He asked us to. When we barged in, Scott went kinda straight at him when he saw you on the floor. He didn't even try to fight back, just stared at you all wolfed out, trembling. When I carried you out, he told Boyd to find some chains, because he was pretty fucking angry and not so sure of his controll. So we did."

Isaac shrugged and my mood turned sour again. I couldn't help clenching my teeth.

"I talked to him. Although we were all pretty pissed, there was no use in keeping him chained up when he was in control again."

I could see Scott and Isaac share a meaningful look as I was probably flooding the air with all the negative chemo signals that warned them of an upcoming panic attack. But I had no time for this shit. No time…

“Alright…alright. Let’s just get you settled and when everyone’s here, you’ll tell us what happened. Sounds good?”

I simply nodded at the proposition and let Isaac and Scott maneuver me into the living room and onto the couch. My mind kept wandering and I felt stupid for pushing Curlywolf to bring me here. At least I had managed to remember it was quite beneficial to finally take that shower that I had needed since the night before.

Urgh. If I had just taken that stupid shower, this wouldn’t have happened. Well. At some point it might would have, and lastly I couldn’t really be mad at that, because at least I was now aware what an asshole I was. And if not for this clusterfuck, the others still wouldn’t have a clue what the fuck they’re trying to fight. Not that I knew it either, but I’m working on it, alright? At least we have some hints now…

“Stiles?”

I looked up and blinked a couple of times in surprise, because not only did I have a half cooled mug of hot chocolate in hand (and now that is why Scott is my best friend), but the rest of the group (minus Boyd and Peter. And where the hell were they?) had joined us and was staring at me in concern. Rightfully, since I had not realized that any of them walked in and hence probably hadn't acknowledged them in any way. I ducked my head again when I caught a glimpse of dark stubble in the door to the kitchen.

“Yeah?”, I finally asked, fearing it would be the time to share with the pack what had happened.

“You’ve got a lead. So, what did you find?”

Relief flooded me for a brief moment as I nodded and dug out some printed pages from my pocket. This, I could handle. Research is fine. All peachy. I’m good at that.

I flattened the crumpled paper and cleared my throat as Deaton leaned in closer, goosebumps spreading from my neck as I felt a certain pair of hazel eyes staring at me.

“This is part of the poison which Deaton found in me. Which is also the same as –“

Midway through the sentence I realized that my explanations wouldn’t make any sense at all if they had no clue what happened first. So much for starting with the easy part. I grimaced and sank back into the sofa with an annoyed whine. 

“The same as what?”, Erica asked, raising her eyebrows while leaning forward as well, exposing more of her cleavage.

I waved my hands around, in a vague gesture that for most people was supposed to mean ‘wait’, but in my special case rather translated to ‘shut the fuck up, I need to think’. Surprisingly, everyone obliged, stayed quiet and waited for me to speak up again.

My stomach churned uncomfortably, my throat felt tight. There really was no way around it, not if I didn’t want them to interrupt with a thousand questions in between my explanations. And I really wasn't up for intrusive questions.

Story time.

“Alright. Listen up folks, cause I’ll only tell this once. I was stupid and dumb, but you all know that anyway, so…just let me finish talking. You all remember the night I stayed home?”

Collective nods. I looked down at my hands and intertwined them, shivering slightly at the memory and trying my hardest not to let any remnants of arousal rise at the thought.

“Great. It was damn cold that night and I was waiting for one of you to call me, but since that didn’t happen, I decided to head to bed.”

Scott avoided my glare, acting as if he had no idea the passive aggressive accusation was directed at him. I sighed and took a deep breath before I continued. With my lungs filled to the brim, I rushed out the long string of words. Fast and without thinking about it too much, just like ripping off a bandaid.

“Anyway…after I somehow managed to fall asleep, Mr. Alpha invaded my room and, like the fluffy puppy he is, growled until I woke up. He was soaked and ice-cold, didn’t talk, barely looked at me. He was acting all grrr and feral, flashing his eyes and stuff. I had no clue what to do, so I ended up getting him out of his clothes and also tried to get him into new ones, which didn’t work out that well, tried to do something about the cold because wolves and cold? No good. When I touched him by accident, I surprisingly wasn’t mangled to death and my throat was still in place. He actually seemed to like the contact and after that he somehow forgot what clothes are for and was all touchy and cuddly and not-so-cuddly – well you can guess. I didn’t stop him.”

I made a short break, letting the info settle as I prepared to ramble on. Sure, I could have said more, but I didn’t really want to share on my feelings. They probably knew anyway if the knowing look of Lydia or the pitiful stare of Isaac were any indication. I did my best to shrug it off, but failed miserably as my heart started feeling heavy and a red blush crept up my cheeks. What's better than telling your pack you let their Alpha fuck you? Admitting that you let it happen because you have a giant crush on him. I licked my lips nervously.

“When he didn’t say a word the next time we met, I just assumed it was a onetime thing and I was kind of pissed, but that’s not really relevant, I guess, so forget I ever said that…but what is important, is that it happened again. Yesterday. He stumbled in, again fucking cold, but this time also wounded. Against my better judgement the same thing happened after I patched him up and yes, I know I’m an ass for letting it happen since he was all feral. Because really, it’s my fault. As I learned today, he doesn’t remember shit about it and I’m a sick fuck.”

I gulped heavily and looked towards the kitchen, trying to meet his eyes, although I wasn’t too sure he was still there in the dark, as I repeated.

“It was not his fault. He didn’t use me, but I got swept away at the possibility that he might somehow … and I used him. I deserved what he did.”

Lydia made a weird noise and Scott was growling slightly. I tensed up and flailed around with my hands until his attention was on me. With a grim expression we had a similar staring match like the one I had had with Curlywolf.

“Don’t even try to fight me on this.”

Isaac grimaced and Scott’s eyes flickered to him, but he only stared at me as he stalked over and kneeled in front of me, trying to get me to look at him.

“He fucking hit you Stiles. And don’t take this wrong, but you’re not really a threat to a wolf on your best days, even less without your bat. And you…you smelled of sickness.”

He shot an accusing glare towards the kitchen.

“I’ve had worse things done to me for less good reasons”, I evaded, my thoughts briefly reminding me of my delightful evening with Gerard.

“Damnit Stiles, that’s _not_ the point!” Scott threw in in agitation.

“Do I really have to remind any of you what a certain little bitch did to Derek?”, I hissed, finally looking up to find my best friend pacing back and forth.

“That was a completely different situation! He advanced on you, didn’t he?”

Rage flared up for a short moment, because yes it was a little different, but sick anyway. By now, I was stared down from the whole group until I started fidgeting uncomfortably, the anger trickling away as I started to think. It was somehow true and also the reason why I went along with it in the first place. But there was still the feral thing..

“Well… kind of. But I could have stopped him and I didn’t!” I argued.

“How the hell could you have in any way kept a feral wolf, an alpha at that, from…doing things?!”

Maybe they had a point there, but it made no sense to discuss it, because I. didn’t. even. try. And that was seriously wrong.

“I could have found a way, I always do. And I should have.”

Isaac growled in frustration running his hands through his curls agitatedly while Scott was still clenching his hands into tight fists. Hell, even Lydia looked more stern than usually with a seriously upset Erica clinging to her. I was seriously talented at ruining good things.

“Can we just agree they both fucked up spectacularly and get on with this show?”, Erica suggested quietly.

I huffed. _They_ could maybe agree on that, but I still couldn't quite see how Derek was responsible.They shared another look, which apparently conveyed that I wouldn’t listen to any arguments, valid or invalid, right now. Scott's jaw twitched as he grinded his teeth together, but nodded for me to continue.

“Now that you know the fun background story, let’s get to business. I asked Isaac if he has any memory losses or experienced _anything_ that was weird, but he came up with nothing. I’m assuming it’s the same with the rest of you. But all of you were in the preserve at some point, hence I guessed the water thingie we’re hunting must have some kind of poison and none of you stumbled over it. The previous victims had no signs of a poisoning, which is seriously bad, because that could mean there are two creatures crawling around at the moment, which, nay, I am totally not hoping for. So, what affects werewolves?”

“Bullets, Arrows, Pack, Alphas, Mountain ash, the moon, Wolfsbane?”

I nodded at the red headed goddess and finally pointed again at the paper on the table, which Deaton had been studying silently for a while now.

“The poison inside of me has parts of a water plant which has apparently similar structures as wolfsbane. But hey, I’m human so it did something else for me than it would on a wolf. Deaton checked Derek’s blood and whoop di fucking doo he has poison in his blood as well. Admittedly in a tiny concentration, but there anyway. Result: whatever fucked me over, did the same with him and caused him to go feral and not remember a thing.”

“It’s an Afanc”, Isaac stated quietly and my head whipped around until I could look at him.

“What?”

“An Afanc. While you were in the shower, I talked to Chris and he told me. It’s an old creature and rare. He didn’t tell me much except that we need to get it away as fast as possible, because if the hunters get a hold of it, they will use the poison against us. And as you assumed, it can block memories and makes wolves go feral.”

Great. At least we now knew what we were dealing with.

“Yay”, I sighed unenthusiastically. “So, Lyds, let’s ask the beastiary, Scott, sharpen your claws or whatever, Isaac –“

The wolf cleared his throat and fiddled around with his phone when I clicked my mouth shut. He bit his lips and I grew impatient. There was a damn Afanc in our territory which we needed to get rid of and sitting around didn’t help.

“What?” I asked with my eyebrows raised.

“Well… the problem is…” Isaac’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, before he stared at Scott for help with a pleading gaze, but as usually, Scott was clueless as to what he was supposed to do. Luckily, someone else came to his aid.

“It doesn’t work on humans, Mr. Stilinski”, Deaton interfered. He pointed at my print out. “If this is the poison, it should have absolutely no effect on you. Certainly not in the degree you experienced.”

God damn.

The short feeling of accomplishment and enthusiasm that had risen at hearing what we were dealing with, left me even faster than it had arrived. I barely suppressed a loud curse and buried my face in my hands instead.

“Then how the fuck did it get inside of me? I wasn’t even close to the preserve. And how did Derek end up at my place? I’m definitely not the first on the list of people he goes to when he’s feeling under the weather. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m on the list at all and-”

“It doesn’t work on humans, Stiles.”

Peter.

My head shot up and I saw him with Boyd looming just behind him, a smug smile on his lips and an air of nonchalance surrounding him. They must have sneaked in at some point without me realizing. Of course _he_ knew something.

“Yeah we already established that, thank you very much asshole.”

The Zombiewolf snarled at me and repeated, as if I were a thickheaded child, which I surely can be, but didn't give him any right to talk to me like I was.

“ _Humans_ , Stiles.”

I opened my mouth, ready to shoot another insult at him, but hesitated. I could feel most of the pack staring back between me, calculating the possibilities of what he was implying being true, and him staring at his fingernails in boredom.

“Are you saying I’m _not_ …?”

Peter rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue in distaste before he stepped closer, leaning down slightly until he was a whole lot too fucking close. His infamous smirk appeared back on his lips as he tilted his head, as if to challenge me to back away. Finally, before I decided to actually do something stupid like hit him straight in the face, he spoke again.

“Oh dearest. He’s an alpha, you’re his spark, do the math.”

“Bullshit”, Derek roared loudly and I flinched, surprised to hear his thundering voice, after he had stayed so silent during my confession. It would have een great to get some kind of reaction from him, but maybe it was better that I didn't see any of it. I wasn't sure I could survive it once more to have his betrayed look on me. Carefully I glanced in his direction, taking in the tension in his muscles as he stared at his uncle from the doorframe as if ready to pounce any moment.

“His spark?”, Scott asked, confusion plain in his big puppy eyes as he tried to decide who to ask the question to get an adequate answer.

“Actually, he’s more than that. But who cares for labels?” Creeperwolf made a dismissive gesture. “They have a bond.”

Bond. Bonded. To Derek. An alpha and his spark. I was his. His?? Oh hell fucking no. Of course he didn’t like that in the slightest. _I_ wasn’t sure if I liked it.

Still stuck on plain disbelief I glanced at Deaton for some kind of info on this, because frankly I hadn’t ever heard a damn thing about it, and if somebody knew, it was probably him, but the vet only showed a pensive, mostly closed up expression. Now that couldn’t be good news.

“Let’s say we believe that, there’s still the subject of the poisoning?”, the blonde wolf threw in.

Peter rolled his eyes, which he somehow managed to make look like a complete body gesture, and sighed dramatically.

“Maybe you should ask our dear Alan. He should know some interesting things on the matter.”

He was staring at the vet, who in turn maintained eye contact, his jaw clenching strangely as I observed the scene.

“I know nothing.”

Peter chuckled as he wandered the room leisurely, picking up a framed picture casually, taking his sweet time because he simply loved the attention of us all on him.

“Oh you do. You just don’t like the idea of them not needing your pitiful aid anymore. Even you have a heartbeat Dr. Deaton.”

Immediately my eyes went to Scott, who nodded at me before staring at his mentor with something like betrayal growing in his eyes.

“Tell us”, he whispered almost inaudibly, but with a steady voice. It rang loud in the silence.

Deaton finally looked away from Peter at the quiet words, his shoulders sinking in defeat, which was a look on him I had seldom seen, but he had always had a soft spot for Scott.

“Fine. You know I used to be the emissiary of the Hale Pack and emissaries can do a lot of things. We were trained in using herbs to our advantage, to fight creatures much stronger than us, to mediate between packs without agitating the respective Alphas. But we can’t do magic. There has always been that whisper of something much more powerful. A bond between an Alpha and a Spark. They can heal and strengthen, they are able to wield their magic as a shield or weapon, create barriers, wards, protection spells. All that by simply _believing_.”

Slowly I licked my lips and turned towards the Vet. I had definitely heard some of these words before.

“By simply believing. You told me I had something in me. The thing I did with mountain ash…”, I paused.

Peter hummed in satisfaction, while Deaton was still looking at Scott, who had turned away from him. The man started nodding and fixed his eyes on the ground before continuing. It was surprising how informative he could be when he was trying to get back into Scott’s good graces.

“Sparks are powerful when unbound, even more so when finally settling with an Alpha. You saved each other’s life often enough for the trust and closeness needed to form a bond. When Derek was poisoned and slipped into his feral self, he came to you because his wolf could feel that you would help. You didn’t know consciously, but your spark found a way to heal him with…body contact.”

I frowned. This was wrong. How was throwing around some ash in any way a display of power? I was certainly not powerful. But somehow this was to be expected, because if I get to be some magical thing, of course I’m an anything-but-useful weakling.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”, I asked anyway.

The muscles in Deaton’s back tensed once more and he continued to avoid everyone’s eyes. Silence fell heavy on us and the question seemed to ring endlessly while a thousand voices screamed in my head.

“No one likes being useless. He didn’t want to train you, Stiles”, Peter answered amusedly as he settled into the last open armchair, crossing his legs elegantly and propping his head up on two fingers, completing the image. And while others probably wouldn’t be able to pull this off without looking ridiculous, Peter only looked like a badass supervillain who watches his plan unfold with satisfaction.

“Why?”

“Because you are more than a spark.”

My mouth went dry. I wasn’t sure I could deal with being more, but I didn’t quite have a choice there, right? We are what we are. Which brought me to my next question.

“Then, what am I?”

Peter chuckled lowly and his eyes glowed blue.

“A raging fire.”


	4. Bunny Encomium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh folks. This was fun. I WAS DONE ALREADY. And then, what did I do? I rewrote it. Twice. I originally intended to write a smutty end, but instead it became all cute and disgusting. It still has a different pace than the previous chapters and it's a rather fluffy ending. I'm not always so good with that... let me know what you think.

I sighed as I let a flame flicker over my hands, curl around my forearm and illuminate the runes carved into them. Frankly, it probably wasn’t the best idea to do this while I was driving, but I couldn’t help myself. It was still so fascinating and calming, because _I_ did that. Me. Plain old flailing spastic Stiles. I snorted. Aside from the fact that the magical use soothed the blazing thing inside of me.

_A raging fire._

The mood in the room had been weird after that statement. I had been horribly confused and had tried to get more out of Uncle Zombiewolf, but Peter just wouldn’t _elaborate_ , no matter how hard I pushed, he simply evaded with vague statements. It didn’t cross my mind until much later that with his silence he had been trying to give Deaton a small chance of redeeming himself. In the moment, I had been so frustrated and about to storm out, but when I had moved for more than a few inches from my position, Derek had snarled menacingly (and I really do mean menacingly, because his usual grunts and growls don’t let me waver) until I stilled. Which didn’t help with calming me at all and naturally, I started snapping at the people around me, because I did not understand in the slightest what _the fuck_ was going on.

I grimaced at the memory.

_“Fine. Peter apparently fulfilled his quota of being helpful today, so Deaton”, I turned towards him, emphasizing my choice of making him talk by pointing at him with my finger dangerously close to his nose._

_“Please, please enlighten me, and I know that that’s really difficult for you, but_ please _do it without being too ambiguous, because I’m honestly not in the mood for guessing around some more. Suddenly being something magical does that to you, you know.”_

_Scott looked at his favorite mentor, then to Derek who I saw stepping closer from the corner of my eye. My heart tripped in my chest and with blood rising to my cheeks, I averted my eyes._

_“I’ll try. There’s no point in hiding it any longer.”_

_I threw my hands up in exasperation. Being torn between wanting and not wanting to know was annoying enough, but hearing again that he had_ knowingly _kept this train wreck from me, was on a completely different level of unnerving._

_Anger bristled in me, making my legs and fingers twitch uncomfortably until I got up to pace the room. I briefly wondered how much of my restlessness could be connected to the magic in me, when Derek started to growl and I had to fight myself not to flip him off. Our relationship, whatever it was, was ruined enough. Any other day I probably would have settled down again in an attempt to calm him, but there was just no way I was staying seated for this._

_“Great. Then go ahead and tell me_ why the hell _you hid it in the first place?”_

_The veterinarian sighed._

_“Because Scott needs you. Derek does, too. When I first sensed your potential, it was just a mere glance at your power and I mistook it for something else. But I started noticing things that made me reinvestigate. Commonly, it takes an instructor of some sort to aid a spark to enlarge his magic until, how Peter put it, it becomes a fire. Your untapped magical potential_ is _already at that level. If someone was willing to teach you, there is the possibility of it emerging into something even more powerful.”_

_His pause was heavy and I already knew what he was going to say. Great power comes with great responsibility and all that. I never anticipated I wouldn’t be giddy have that sentence applied to my own life._

_“It also has the potential to be perilous. If you start to use it without having suitable control, it will consume you, rip you apart.”_

_Great. Another way for me to die a painful death._

_A variety of growls, whines and small gasps could be heard. And here I had thought this month couldn’t get any worse. What an unpleasant and unwelcome way to prove me wrong. I finally stopped in my pacing, my muscles painfully tight._

_“So I need a teacher.”_

_“Not necessarily, Mr. Stilinski. You might as well just let it –“_

_I cut him off with a sharp gesture that made Isaac flinch and Scott scowl. I was surprised everyone had kept quiet, but my mind was set anyway._

_“NO! If there is the possibility I can keep my friends safe in some way and be less useless, I’ll do it.”_

_He sighed._

_“That’s what I feared you would say. I might know someone who could help you, but you will have to leave for a while.”_

_“True, that sucks, but I didn’t know you would miss me”, I snorted as dryly as I could._

_“You have more value for this pack than you know. You’re a main anchor for Scott, you lead and support when it is necessary, hold the threads together and furthermore, you have a tentative bond to the Alpha.”_

_I cringed. Yeah,_ that _._

_I glanced at Derek, who had resumed his usual position: wide stance, crossed arms, deep frown. All intimidating Alpha who was straight out ignoring me and not reacting to the words at all. My heart ached strangely and I felt sick again. I would have to figure out how to erase this bond somewhere along the way._

_Suddenly emotionally drained, I plopped back down on the couch, my gaze flicking down to the floor. I didn’t want to leave, but maybe the distance would help with the Derek issue, and when I came back, I could set things right. I would be able to do more than swing a bat at every creature that crawled out from hell straight into Beacon Hills._

_“But I will be strong enough to protect them?”, I asked quietly._

_“Yes.”_

_I looked up at him with my face displaying the determination that was settling further in me. “I’ll do it. But first, let’s kill this stupid creature before it does any more damage.”_

It had only been two months since I learned I’m not quite as human as Deaton let me believe and we dealt with the vicious Afanc. After we knew what we were facing and got the fun discussion on my magicalness and whether to pursue it or not out of the way, it was surprisingly easy to deal with. We got hold of an Adder Stone, which helped us to make the elusive thing visible for us and knocked it unconscious to send it to some kind of supernatural Zoo, which apparently is as much of a thing as the supernatural section of Eichen House.

After the whole illumination on my status, we all had kind of ignored the topic and focused on the fight. It went surprisingly well, considering Scott and Isaac were still majorly pissed off at Derek, Erica watched him in curiosity and even Boyd hit him over the head in a scolding manner. At least it didn’t feel like I had ripped the pack apart completely with my stupidity.

When the fight was over, everyone went home, all the possible words to clear the air left unsaid. I didn’t get a chance to properly apologize to my Alpha, since he had disappeared into the night like the werewolf he is. Well, he had stopped briefly and nodded at me curtly and I assumed he wasn’t out to strangle me any longer. Well, not more than usually I suppose. I hoped he hadn’t just cut me some slack because I would potentially magically implode. Or explode. Deaton hadn’t been that specific on the topic.

I had avoided the pack for a couple of days, because I had still felt guilty and bad, not to mention completely sore, _everywhere,_ until Scott came by with a name and a number in Deaton’s handwriting on a small piece of paper. We hugged it out, talked for a while about anything but Derek, played some games, pretending we were both still the normal teenagers from a year ago.

Isaac had joined us a while later and introduced the whole Derek-topic by saying that the pack had sat down and talked after Derek had pulled Isaac and Scott aside to apologize. Apparently they were still not satisfied that he hadn’t talked to me, but I had felt better knowing the pack was doing good despite the mess we created.

When they left, I had called the number he had given me and found myself my first teacher who agreed to train me despite my age (Sparks are usually trained at a young age apparently, who knew?). Surprisingly, without a lot of fuss, Dad had allowed me to leave Beacon Hills for a few weeks and learn control of the fire inside of me after he saw my bruises. He had thought it would be for the best if I had some time to heal, and maybe he wasn’t that wrong.

It was strange to leave the town, and I had felt something in me tug at my heart and expand uncomfortably the farther I went. Days passed before I realized it was my bond to the pack, to Derek. After that, it became strangely comforting to still have a tangible connection to the people I loved. Still, I had done my best to swallow down the feelings I had for my Alpha. If we were supposed to work together, I would have to have a serious talk with him when I got back. The thought alone made me anxious. After all, I usually like to ignore a problem until it eventually went away and that just wouldn’t do here.

My training had been rather fast-paced, but I didn’t mind. At least this way I didn’t have time to feel too homesick or lonely. Well, it was bad, but it probably could have been even worse. Probably. Maybe. I had told the pack to only contact me in an emergency. After all, I wanted to learn as much as I could in as few time as possible to get back to Beacon Hills. We all knew there was also the aspect of me wanting to let things cool down between me and Derek, but everyone was kind enough not to mention it openly. And lastly, well, I had always been a fast learner.

Soon after I had arrived, I got hold of a second teacher to keep me occupied and train me appropriately. I had grimaced every time I was told that I was filled with more power than they had seen in many years, but swallowed any snarky comments. I had always been the weak one, the human. Hearing that I was powerful simply sounded like a flat out lie.

And now, here I was on my way back to Beacon Hills. I still didn’t know all of the things there were to know, but I was finally able to _do something_ and not just run around flailing like a Colibri on acid. And best of all: I hadn’t been ripped apart.

I glanced at the rearview mirror, and plain old me looked back. I felt changed, but didn’t quite look like it. Well, aside from the tattooed runes on my arms and hands. They were supposed to help me focus and bundle my magic more effortlessly, and they did. It had been quite an adventure to get them under my skin (needles, urgh), but I had chosen them myself and was happy to have them in the end.

I drummed my fingers nervously on the wheel as I passed the sign telling me I was finally back home. My heartbeat picked up and I felt a little lighter, now that I was closer to my pack. I had only told my Dad I would be back so I could surprise the others. I was sure they could sense me arriving already, since surprise and happiness thrummed through the pack bond. It had merged into something much stronger since I figured out how to feel it and fill up. A smile crept onto my lips as my phone buzzed to announce an incoming message. And again. Aaaand again.

I glanced down at my phone and (like the irresponsible person I was) opened the new messages.

_UR BACK!!!_

_Pack Party!_

_Same place, in 30 min??_

Grinning like a lunatic I typed out a quick _‘Sure!’_ and headed for the preserve. Soon enough I was at our usual meeting spot at the cliffy part, where you could easily overlook most of Beacon Hills and gladness over being back washed over me once more. The sparkling magic inside of me crackled in excitement, before settling in contentedness. Home sweet home.

It was different now. The territory had become a living thing to me, the forest breathing and whispering with the Nemeton in its middle, not only calling to me, but connecting with the pack through me.

While I was still occupied with watching the sun slowly set over the buildings, I was tackled to the ground by an overeager puppy. I was seriously surprised he wasn’t licking my face and snickered joyously.

“You bastard! You could have called!!”

“Hi Scottie boy. I missed you too”, I laughed, patting his back as I tried to get back some air in my lungs, which were seriously squished by the werewolf on top of me.

“You better have”, Scott huffed as he pulled me up with him and started patting the dirt off me.

As he looked me up and down, his eyes went wide. I chuckled.

“Yes they are real, no I didn’t faint.” For long.

He squinted in me at suspicion, but grinned after a short moment.

“Stilinski, look at _you_ ”, a female voice chirped.

“Hi Erica, hey Boyd.”

I regarded the blonde bombshell, who was still checking me out and I could barely suppress a grin, before she shoved Scott aside and enveloped me in a hug that was just that bit too tight, while her boyfriend stood in the back and rolled his eyes fondly. When Erica finally let go, he put a heavy hand on my shoulder.

“Good to have you back.”

“Good to be back.” I returned his gesture with a smile.

After that, Lydia and a slightly grumpy looking Jackson (does he ever look differently?) arrived and I was pushed into showing off what I had learned. I did some small tricks like whirling around flowers, growing a small tree and letting it rain on Jackson, which _of course_ was an accident. He shoved me in retaliation before, surprisingly, he enveloped me in a hug under the pretense of rubbing the wetness of on me. I smiled and thrummed in the happiness of my pack.

When I had enough of the magical Stilinski show, I kept my puppies from whining around too much by pulling out the special Werewolf-beer I had found during my time away and we really got the party started. When the sky slowly tinged with hues of blue, we made a fire to sit around and soon the air was filled with laughter and the smell of roasted marshmallows.

Hours passed and with a tinge of sadness, I realized that he probably wouldn’t come.

Silently I crept away from the others and sat down on the cliff with a bottle of normal beer. I had really hoped to see him, to talk about the shit that went down. I had learned that more on what it meant that our bond was still a tentative one. We could break it if we didn’t work out, but that would also mean I could no longer be part of the pack and I couldn’t let that happen. With a sad smile I looked back at the pack over my shoulder, laughing and joking. It would break my heart to be apart from them. The two months had easily proved how close I felt to them. Even Jackson and Peter. Maybe Peter a little less, because, well, he’s Peter.

I let my feet dangle over the ledge, my head falling back to look at the stars illuminating the night.

“So you’re back.”

My heart skipped a beat and I had a hard time not to immediately whip my head around. Instead I slowly licked my lips, dug my hands into the sharp edges of the stone I sat on, and nodded.

“Yeah.”

I could see movement and finally he settled down next to me, close enough to touch if I extended my hand a little. Not that I should if I wanted to keep it. And I did. I was rather fond of my hands.

We sat in silence until I couldn’t endure it any longer and glanced at Derek. His scruff was a little thicker and he looked tired, some circles under his eyes, but still painfully mesmerizing as he was illuminated by the soft glow of the fire behind us.

“I’m sorry.”

I choked on air. Completely shell-shocked I jerked around to stare openly at him, because the big bag scowly Alpha apologizing for something that was my fault was seriously dumb.

“Derek. _I_ am sorry. I mean-“

“No. I felt the bond. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I felt it. And ignored it because I thought I was pressuring you into something there.”

Momentarily I forgot how to breathe and when I remembered and was about to speak, he shot me a threatening look and my mouth clicked shut, deciding it was probably a good idea to let him talk as long as he was in the mood, because that frankly didn’t happen that often.

“I shouldn’t have hit you. The thought of you betraying the pack, of betraying _me_ … it made me think of Kate and I couldn’t bear it. I shouldn’t have doubted you, I _know_ you are not capable of such a betrayal.”

I whined and turned my head away. Despite his words, which at the same time loosened and tightened a knot in my stomach, since strong silent Derek had not only used words, but talked of his _feelings_ , I couldn’t quite agree.

“But I did. I…I betrayed you. I _used_ you because I was foolish enough to think-“, I stopped and immediately felt like hitting myself. Preferrably hard enough to knock myself out.

The whole thing was embarrassing enough as it was, but telling him that this shit had happened because I had some dumb feelings for him, would be even worse.

“That I have feelings for you?”

Well, fuck.

Grimacing, I pulled my feet back and hectically stood up, patting down my pants to get rid of some imaginary dirt and started gesturing towards the forest. Smooth Stilinski. No way he would suspect anything from that totally reasonable reaction.

While I was still scolding myself I started to ramble.

“Uhm, hey it’s pretty late so I should probably head home and drown myself in the bathtub or-“

Derek growled and flashed his eyes. I bit my lips, my pulse rabbit fast, as I willed down the low thrum of arousal pooling in my chest painfully. This was not the time for another unhealthy fear-boner. But those eyes…

I gulped and almost missed how Derek observed the movement, before letting his eyes flicker back up to mine.

“Sit. Down.”

Quietly (and wasn't that telling) I obliged, reminding myself that he would most definitely not eat me up and I seriously shouldn’t be as afraid as I am.

“Look at me Stiles.”

I bit my lip and slowly turned my head without actually looking at him, but rather fixating on the hem of his green Henley which looked ridiculously good on him.

The wolf in front of me whined strangely, which worried me enough to glance up at him through my lashes, my pulse through the roof and my breathing labored. His face was twisted in irritation and anger. I jerked back and his features darkened further.

“I’m sorry Derek. It’s…dumb. It was idiotic to give in and I will stay out of your hair until I get rid of them, but please please please don’t kick me out of the pack!”

Derek’s eyes flashed red again and I ducked slightly. He made a frustrated sound that rumbled deep from within his chest.

“I have no intention of kicking you out”, he stated firmly.

I sighed in relief and looked down at my hands resting in my lap. That was good. I would still have to figure out a way to get rid of my feelings, but hey, I got over Lydia somehow, and that had only taken…oh yeah. _Years_.

Shit. I was dead. So dead.

Slightly calloused fingers were placed under my chin and lifted it until I had no choice but to look back at Derek. I frowned and contemplated him with a questioning expression.

“Can I just try something?”, he asked tentatively and that was definitely a tone I never heard from him before.

I nodded carefully, his fingers burning on my skin, while I stared into the kaleidoscope of green, brown and blue that were his eyes.

His brows twitched with indecision and the tension was palpable as his eyes wandered over my features. I licked nervously over my suddenly dry lips, and his gaze snapped to it, watching the movement closely.

“Der-“

Suddenly, soft lips were on mine and my mind felt like it exploded in a thousand colors. Something snapped firmly into place, like an elastic that had been stretched for way too long and wanted nothing more than settle back. It ached for a short moment, but then everything felt brighter and like so much _more_.

Automatically my fingers weaved into his hair to pull him closer and he complied with a deep rumble, licking at my lips until I opened my mouth to let him in. The sensation was hard to describe. Of course we had kissed before, but Derek had been feral every time it happened. This kiss was the first time he consciously chose to do it. It was soft, careful and it made my heart ache with the sweetness it displayed.

When he pulled away, his hand wandered to my neck and he leaned our foreheads together. I opened my eyes first, still breathless, which gave me the chance to watch his lids flutter open and his red gaze finding mine. As cliché as it sounded, the world stopped turning for a few seconds.

“Your eyes..”, he whispered. “They are glowing.”

“Oh”, I replied dumbly and his lips twitched at the corners. I wanted to kiss them.

I was aware that they sometimes glowed in a bright orange when I was doing a bigger spell, but I wasn’t quite sure why they were doing it now.

Derek closed his eyes again for a short moment, rubbing his nose along mine while his fingers dug into my nape.

“My wolf adores you. You make it settle when you’re close and happy, it roars in anger when you’re hurt, it paces when I don’t know where you are. I… I’m not sure what I’m feeling, but I want you near me, in my pack. We need you Stiles. _I_ need you.”

Blinking a couple of times, I continued to stare as the information settled in. When it finally did, I smiled softly, the spark in me pulsing with my contentedness.

“I’m here for you, my Alpha.”

And as I said the words, the glowing and the elastic-band feeling made sense. The bond had tightened between us, still not fully pursued, but not as stretched under duress as it had been before because of our unresolved issues.

Humming, I bared my neck to my Alpha. I could more feel than hear the content noise that originated from Derek, before he surged forward into a heated kiss, which lasted not nearly as long as I wanted to, but was filled with a different kind of promise than the first one. His lips briefly wandered to my neck, sucking a possessive mark into the sensitive skin, before reclaiming my mouth with renewed lust. My pants felt entirely too tight. Finally, when our lips parted, he smiled as well and it was such an uncommon sight that I forgot to breathe once more.

“My Spark. Mine”, he growled possessively and I made a gurgling noise, while I danced victoriously on the inside.

His. _His._

“Oh my God.”

I jerked away in surprise and turned to find the pack staring at us. I had completely forgotten that they were still there, and _wow_ wasn’t that awkward. I beamed at them and ducked a little trying to hide my embarrassment, which caused my cheeks to heat uncomfortably.

“FINALLY”, Erica shouted, her hands raised to the sky as Boyd chuckled next to her. “If you had taken any longer to get home, I would have come to get you myself so he would finally stop sulking.”

With raised eyebrows I looked at my alpha, who avoided my gaze by squinting accusingly at Erica. She shrugged nonchalantly. Nonetheless, I caught sight of the tips of his ear turning a lovely shade of red.

Lydia, with her arms crossed only rolled her eyes, then proceeded to grab another marshmallow.

“Stiles, would you please control what your leaking through the pack bond? I love you and Derek but I will not hesitate to ask Chris to shoot you if you make me feel aroused again because _you_ are”, Isaac murmured, his body suspiciously turned away from the rest of the pack.

“Awww, you love me”, I mocked in a sing song voice and he growled.

I walked over to him while he blushed under a scowl that rivaled his Alpha’s and bend down to whisper in his ear.

“I love you too puppy.”

The corners of his lips twitched, before he looked at me with a fondness he usually only addressed Scott with. Speaking of which, I was tugged under the arm of my dear childhood friend and raised my brows as he stared Derek down with squinted eyes.

Derek tilted his head and raised both of his talking eyebrows in questions.

“If you ever lay a hand on him again, I will find you and end you”, Scott threatened.

Now it was at me to roll my eyes. I slapped his arm with a sigh.

“Thanks _Dad_.”

Scott made a weird noise and frowned at me, but I was too busy to stare at Derek’s adorable bunny teeth as he laughed to pay him any mind. I wanted to sing about them. Maybe write a poem. Or a book.

Huh.

Suddenly, the whole Allison serenading made a whole lot more sense.


End file.
